OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
