I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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