i jhust puked up my retainher.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
