I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
