I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
