Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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