Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
