you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
