so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You took a bar mat shot.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i've created a new STD.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
