she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
