filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
