no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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