Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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