no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
