my mouth tastes like poor choices
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
