Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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