i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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