I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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