Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
