Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
