so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
