Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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