you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
