Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
