Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
