I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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