Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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