ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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