Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
