in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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