So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize