So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
