this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
operation harelip BJ is a go
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
