somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My vagina is officially offended.
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