in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
