I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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