She's JV to your varsity
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
