so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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