They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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