what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize