Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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