My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
