I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Everclear isn't food dammit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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