just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
