There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Let's get the cat blown out
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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