we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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