Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
