they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
