careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
