He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
