Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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