I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
