do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
