Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My vagina is very pro this idea
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