OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
