i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
