dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
