so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
