I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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